Here’s how to take care of your physical, mental, and financial health during the holidays when you’re undergoing cancer treatment.
Put Your Health First
The holidays are a time of group gatherings and long lists of commitments — which could easily lead to exhaustion. Give yourself an out if you don’t feel up for socializing: When you RSVP to a party, let the host know that you plan to be there, but don’t know how you’ll be feeling that day so may have to cancel last minute, suggests Wendy Griffith, LCSW, an oncology social worker and program manager of the Adolescent and Young Adult (AYA) Program at The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center . When you go to a party, take any necessary steps to protect yourself, such as wearing a mask and bringing hand sanitizer. And it’s more than okay — it’s necessary — to ask if anyone who will be attending any get-together you plan to go to has been sick recently, which could put you at risk for contracting a communicable illness, like COVID-19 or the flu, if they’re still contagious. If you feel uncomfortable about the plan for any reason, you can opt out. “Don’t feel like you owe people an explanation,” Griffith says. “You don’t have to justify yourself.” Instead, see if your family can come to you. Even if your whole family can’t make the trip, perhaps you have a relative who lives close by whom you could meet up with. Whatever the holiday plan is, ask your family if it can be made more convenient to accommodate you. There’s a risk that they might say no, cautions Griffith. But regardless, “have the confidence to know that … you’re making the best decision for yourself,” she says.
Make Gift-Giving Manageable
Gift-giving can be financially taxing under normal circumstances; add the often exorbitant costs associated with cancer care, and perhaps a reduced (or no) income while you’re undergoing treatment, and it can become unmanageable. “If you want to make sure that any of your extra money is able to go to housing, transportation, [and] prescriptions and you’re watching your budget, then communicate that to people in advance,” Griffith advises. If money is tight, it’s fine to let friends know that you’ll have to skip gift-giving this year, she says. Or you could establish clear parameters — like, for instance, exchanging only homemade presents or gifts under a certain dollar limit, she suggests. You shouldn’t feel obligated to spend beyond your means when money is tight due to treatment-related expenses.
Be Specific About the Gifts You Need
People want to help, and it’s better that they spend their money on something you can really use versus something you’ll throw in the back of a storage closet. So when loved ones ask you what you want for the holidays, be prepared with an answer — a very specific answer. If what you really need is money to help with expenses, ask people to donate to your GoFundMe , she adds. You’ll get what you actually need, and people will be happy their money went to good use — instead of to the back of a storage closet.
Make Arrangements in Advance
The last place people want to be during the holiday season is in a hospital, but sometimes due to your treatment schedule or a necessary surgical procedure, it’s unavoidable. Griffith says it’s important to be prepared and plan for an in-patient stay in advance. First, she advises, ask the hospital what their policy is for visitors and overnight guests, as a lot of that has changed since COVID. Once you know the rules, create a schedule of all the people you’d like to have visit you and when. Don’t have friends or family who will be nearby during the holidays? Schedule Zoom calls with loved ones. When you pack your bag for your hospital stay, be sure to include things to keep yourself entertained and occupied, like books, a list of podcasts you want to listen to, and/or activities that require focus and attention, such as a paint-by-numbers kit or a diamond art puzzle , recommends Griffith. “Have a repertoire of things ready to go so you can have your time filled as much as possible,” she says. “Also know that if you just need a moment to cry and feel lonely and hate that you’re in the hospital, that’s okay, too.”
Feel Free to Skip It
If the pressure to enjoy the holiday season is bringing you down, skip it. You don’t have to send holiday cards or listen to Christmas music — if it’s making you feel bad, don’t do it. “You don’t have to force happiness,” Griffith says. “You don’t have to be productive or accomplish anything. If you’re not feeling well, whether it’s physically or emotionally, pushing yourself can make the situation worse.” Griffith’s biggest tip for getting through the holidays while you’re in treatment? “Give yourself grace,” she says.
