Myth 1: Stress causes cancer. Fact: If you’re grappling with a stress overload, you might even be stressed out over the ill effects of stress. (How’s that for cruel?) But you should know that psychological stress can’t by itself cause a disease. If you were recently diagnosed with cancer, don’t blame yourself for a past spent swimming in stress. “Certainly stress, particularly a major life stressor, like the death of a partner, can contribute to an increased risk of disease, including certain cancers,” says David Spiegel, MD, director of the Center on Stress and Health at Stanford University School of Medicine in California. “But prolonged stress changes your risk levels, not makes it happen.” On its website, the National Cancer Institute says that psychological stress can push people to take up maladaptive coping mechanisms, like overeating, drinking alcohol, or smoking, all of which drive up cancer risk. “Don’t let the stressor disrupt things you should do to stay healthy, like eating vegetables, exercising regularly, and sleeping seven to eight hours a night,” says Dr. Spiegel. Myth 2: Practice self-care to manage stress. Fact: “Self-care” is such a trendy buzzword these days in the world of health and wellness, and it’s often recommended that you practice it by having a manicure, for example, or lounging in a bath. While those may be great strategies to relax, they’re unlikely to be the soul-serving strategies you need to stop regularly stressing out. “The healthiest self-care is going to be tied to your values,” says Sunitha Chandy, PsyD, a psychologist in Chicago, who has helped clients with stress-management issues for more than a decade. “What drives you? What gives you meaning? What really matters to you? For instance, volunteering your time may not be relaxing like a beach vacation, but it may be good for your soul,” and thus a valuable tool to combat stressing out. Myth 3: Tried-and-true stress-relieving strategies work for everyone. Fact: You’ve heard time and again the call to meditate or do yoga. And you may just as often be ignoring that advice because you instinctively believe that engaging in these activities — all evidence-based coping mechanisms to combat stress — may make you more stressed. Your instincts may be right. There’s no one-sized-fits-all approach for coping with stress. “We now know that because of temperament and lifestyle, people are variable in what works to reduce their stress,” says David Palmiter, PhD, professor at Marywood University in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and author of Working Parents, Thriving Families. Although some approaches, such as mindfulness, have stress-reducing capabilities backed by research, that does not mean mindfulness must look the same for everyone. “Some people are like sharks — they won’t stop moving,” Dr. Palmiter says. Asking them to meditate while sitting “produces shame and frustration,” he says. If that sounds like you, you may benefit from “active mindfulness.” For instance, Palmiter suggests picking up a camera and going on a 10-minute walk, consciously noting things that you see, hear, smell, and feel. Myth 4: You won’t be able to overcome the stress of a disease diagnosis. Fact: It’s no surprise that chronic disease can weigh you down mentally. About 40 percent of patients with rheumatoid arthritis have depression and about one-third of those with irritable bowel diseases suffer from depression or anxiety, according to research. But it isn’t inevitable. “Everyone will deal with a cycle of ups and downs and times when they’re confident, then angry, and sad,” says Dr. Chandy. When stressed, you’re naturally apt to hyperfocus. For instance, you may see your diagnosis as the totality of who you are. Instead, challenge that belief. Are you really just your diagnosis? Or are you also a parent, partner, entrepreneur, friend? “You can get to a place where you say, ‘This is happening, it’s part of my life and I don’t like it, but it’s not everything,’” Chandy says. Myth 5: You can always tell when someone else is stressed. Fact: The signs and symptoms of stressing out are many. Some, like mood swings, rapid speech, or withdrawing socially, are apparent to others. But many symptoms — such as excessive worry, anxiety, or depression — are internal; you may not be able to see them. “Stress can have wide-ranging effects on emotions, mood, and behavior,” the American Institute of Stress notes on its website. Indeed, the institute lists 50 signs and symptoms of stress. Just because a loved one doesn’t look stressed doesn’t mean everything is okay. Myth 6: If you sleep, exercise, and eat right, you won’t be stressed. Fact: Those practices are the tenets of a healthful lifestyle, and they certainly help you approach the day with your best foot forward. Still, these are just ways to treat the symptoms of stress — they’re not going to address the cause of it, says Ron Breazeale, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Portland, Maine, who promotes resilience training. Asking yourself about the root cause of your stressing out — where it’s coming from and what you can do to remove that source (for instance, adjusting your work hours or turning off your phone at night to have downtime) — is a longer-term, durable solution. Myth 7: Stress causes ulcers. Fact: Maybe you’ve even told someone that you’re so stressed out you’re getting an ulcer. (Cue tummy clench.) Most often, “it’s infection from Helicobacter pylori bacteria that causes peptic ulcers,” says Spiegel. (Taking aspirin or NSAIDs — nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs — long-term is another cause, according to the Mayo Clinic.) That said, the brain and body are closely intertwined, so it’s legitimate that you may “feel” stress in your stomach. In fact, a study published in 2015 in the Journal of Neurogastroenterology and Motility found that stressing out was associated with GI disorders, including irritable bowel syndrome. If you’re experiencing both stress and stomach distress, talk to your doctor. Myth 8: Once you feel stressed, there’s nothing you can do to stop it from getting worse. Fact: Faced with a worrisome challenge, expect your muscles to tense up; you may also start to sweat. As soon as you notice that reaction, you think, “This is bad.” Almost automatically, that thought makes things feel even worse. “You can stop this snowball effect,” says Spiegel. There are different tools at your disposal, one of which is self-hypnosis, a technique he recommends to patients. Imagine yourself floating in a bathtub, picture your stressor on an imaginary screen and think about what you can do to neutralize it. You might also try “mindfulness,” in which you recognize stressful thoughts and let them blow through you like a breeze. Tackling one task at a time can help reduce the sensation of being overwhelmed, changing it to a perception of manageable commitments. The goal is to calm your body and ease your mind. “It’s your ability to deal with and react to a stressor that matters,” Spiegel says. Myth 9: Alcohol can stop you from stressing out. Fact: Sitting down to a vodka tonic may make you breathe easy in the moment, but the source of your stress will remain. “You run into problems when you rely on alcohol for stress reduction as your only relaxation strategy,” says Dr. Breazeale. Alcohol is a depressant, after all. Plus, that drink may not be doing what you want it to anyway. A study published in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research instructed men to perform a stressful task and then gave them alcohol. Researchers found that individual responses differed. For some, alcohol prolonged stressful feelings, and for some, being stressed out made having a drink less pleasant. Myth 10: Stress is the best motivator Fact: Often people think that they won’t get anything done unless pushed by stress — a last-minute or short deadline on a project, for example. “We often confuse motivation with stress,” Chandy says. “While they both get us going, one serves to build us up and one depletes us.” (Just think about your ability to function at your best when panic-stricken. Now consider how much better you would have done if you weren’t up against a ridiculous, self-imposed or manufactured deadline.) But it can be scary to take a step back from a way of operating that you think has worked well for you all these years. You can build motivation in healthier ways without falling back on procrastination stress by “remembering the purpose and value of the task, as well as the peace and satisfaction that comes with completing it,” Chandy says. Focusing on growth and accomplishment (rather than fear of failure) can also build your sense of accomplishment and self-esteem, and serve as a good source of motivation to help you succeed.
